When Adoption Is Not An Answer

Infertile couples are often under tremendous pressure to adopt - friends may tire of your problem and question why you don't adopt if you want a baby so badly; and others who have already adopted may enthusiastically recommend the option to you. But you should never try to force yourself to be comfortable with adoption if the idea is disturbing - this is not a time for selflessness. There are no set guidelines to determine who should or should not adopt. Remember, adoption does not mean trying to find a baby now to take care of you in your old age; neither is it a method to try to use to keep your marriage together. Signs suggesting indecision could include denial of your disappointment about infertility; persistent fantasies about what life might have been with biological children; and the desire to keep the adoption a secret. Prospective parents may also have fears that an adoptive child may not measure up to family standards. If you have any doubts, it may be a good idea to temporarily postpone your adoption plans and discuss your anxieties before proceeding further.